livechoosingjoy

Feed. Change. Wash. Dry. Make Clean. 

Each morning as I wake up to either the sound of my alarm, my husband leaving for work, or one of my kids crying out for me I tend to take a deep breath and gear up. Gear up for another day of meeting the needs of tiny humans. Gear up for more cleaning. More washing. More picking up. The cycle repeats itself.  

I believe the most arduous part of motherhood is the monotony. The cyclical motion that ebbs and flows as each day begins. Nurse my six month old baby, while my two and three year old play with toys around my feet and ask me questions. We talk about if they had any dreams the night before and how their sleep was. I change my baby’s diaper and put underwear on  my two -year-old. I ask my three year old to turn off the sound machines and lights so we can head downstairs for breakfast. These are all routines we’ve established and things they are used to doing. Expectations. Pivotal and important for kids. 

So then why are the routines we’ve set in place to help our little ones feel so constricting at times? 

I laid in bed the other night and sighed. I told my husband I don’t wanna start a new week. I felt tired and worn. I didn’t feel like hearing the screaming and whining tomorrow. As I rolled over he said “I know.” I said, “How?” He smiled to himself and then said “Because I know you.” Even just that slight encounter was balm to my soul. It helped to feel seen amidst all the hard and mundane work. It helps to know that even though I’m washing that blue sippy cup for the fourth time this week- I’m seen. Not only by my husband, whom I love dearly, but by the One whom is my reason for life.

It’s often hard to grasp this exact concept that my Father in heaven is seeing all the little things. I often picture Him in the stillness when I get time to close my eyes and picture myself walking next to Him, with his big hand in mine. Much like when my sweet son or daughter puts their hand in mine as we cross the street. But, in the daily, I can’t say I’m always acutely aware. Living in the state of knowing deep down that all these little things ARE the “big thing.” 

He’s asked me to be faithful in the daily as I raise these tiny ones. 

How do I live in that place of contentment knowing that each time I am putting away the kid’s magnatiles and each time I change a diaper or wiping down the countertops…He is seeing it all? I desire to be in conversation with Him always and to be sensitive to what He is telling me and aware of how to handle that quarrel between the toddlers or how to discipline the disrespectful tone. But in the cyclical, monotonous, and well gosh, let me just say it- the boring work of running a household daily…it’s difficult to always remember the broad eternal picture. 

So, as I gear up to prep for dinner and the clean up, bathtime, and bedtime that will follow…I want to remember even as I write this, that what I’m doing is so important. It’s what He’s called me to do right now.